Being in a relationship can have it’s ups and downs. I’ve been in one for two years now, and I have also been the female adviser to my guy friends. I have learned that what us girls want doesn’t always come across the right way; most guys have no idea what’s going on or what to do. For that reason, I thought it would be beneficial to give these guys a guide on how to survive a relationship. This a list of the most common frustrations I’ve heard from girls, and most common things I’ve heard guys don’t get.
1. Make sure you listen to her. A lot of guys want to just give the logical solution to a problem, but a lot of times she just needs someone to listen to her.
2. Get along with her friends, especially in the beginning. They are the ones that are giving her advice and their opinions about you, don’t be afraid to go up to them and talk casually or say hi even if she isn’t there.
3. When she’s upset at you and says to leave her alone, sometimes (though we don’t like to admit it) she may want you to persist her and ask what’s wrong. However, if she says she really needs some space, tell her you love her (if you’re there yet) and say you guys can talk about it later. Sometimes we need that space and time to think.
4. Don’t be afraid of surprise visits. If you know she’s feeling down, drop by for a little.
5. Gifts aren’t everything. Unlike what you see on social media, buying her gifts every time you fight won’t fix the problem. Make sure you listen to why she’s upset and if it has to do with you, see how you can change that.
6. Don’t be afraid to speak your mind.
7. If you’re the kind of guy that bottles everything up, stop it. Don’t be afraid to tell her how you feel.
8. Pay attention to her both when you are together and over text.
9. Try to engage in her interests to learn more about her.
10. What I’ve learned from experience: solve fights and problems in person. I know talking over text is more comfortable because you don’t see the other person, but you get more out of talking face to face than text. It also brings you closer together.
11. Don’t see makeup as something bad. Everyone has something that makes them feel better about themselves, maybe that’s her thing. Perhaps you don’t think she needs it, but don’t say, “I don’t want my girl to wear makeup”. Instead, tell her she looks good when she has it on and when she doesn’t, giving her the feeling you think she’s pretty regardless.
12. Mirror. Every girl is different in a relationship; some are very close with their s/o and others like more space. If she’s the kind of person that says I love you a lot, or compliments you on how you look, don’t refrain from saying those things back. No one wants to ask someone to say those things, so if you can get our hints that would be great.
13. Learn our language. Guys in general tend to be more straight forward, and some girls are like that too, but some drop a lot of hints. Though it can be frustrating, getting to learn what different tones and looks mean can save you a lot of time, believe me.
14. To avoid #13, learn from your mistakes. If you know that something you do might bother her or cause a fight, then don’t do it.
15. Sentimental things mean a lot. When you think about gifts for the holidays (especially around now) think back on inside jokes, or fun events that you guys have been through, or something she talked about that was important to her. Getting something that represents that can mean more because it shows that you care and listen.
16. COMMUNICATION IS KEY. And this is not just for relationships, but for life too. You have to be able to communicate effectively with people close to you, and that’s why solving problems in person is the way to go, even though it can be uncomfortable at first.
**Disclaimer: Think about the personality of your s/o before trying these things out, though most of these will work. This is also not meant to be sexist towards women.**