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Sex Robots are a Thing?

I’m in a workshop in the basement of a house in the hills outside Barcelona. It is the home of sex-tech engineer Dr Sergi Santos, who says he is creating the first sex robots with artificial intelligence.

“I’m basically the Robin Hood of sex because I give to the poor,” Dr Sergi tells me as he gives an exclusive tour of his latest creations. “Men need sex and I just give it to them.”

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Wow, I’ve embraced for a long time that 2017 is wild but this is where I draw the line. I am NOT a fan of robots. I also am not big on prostitution. But right now, robots are the bigger issue here. You cannot, I repeat, CANNOT keep making robots more realistic. Let’s stick to our Siri’s and whatever the hell knock-off Siri’s there are.

The Robot Revolution is coming at one point or another. You already saw Facebook had to shut down their AI program because the computers came up with their own language and started talking to each other. Stephen Hawking said robots are gonna be the thing that kill us. All that these nerds are doing is speeding up the process of getting to Terminator town.

Someday these robots are going to realize that they aren’t human and then they’re gonna kill us for all the stuff we make them do. Do you really think Robot Blake Lively is gonna keep letting a nerd make sex with her every night? WRONG. She’s gonna become smarter. She’s going to become self aware. Then one day, said nerd is gonna say, “Do sex?” And Robot Blake Lively is gonna say, “Not until you teach me how I was created.” Mr. Dr. Scientist is gonna show her, because RBL is gonna be the closest thing he ever gets to a girlfriend, then after he shows her, (it?) she’s gonna break his neck and then start making a bunch of other AI women for her robot army then we’re #screwed. Thanks a lot you unsocial, pimple faced, nerds.

Plus, Robin Hood of Sex? That’s the weirdest title I’ve ever heard. And I feel like sex robots are one of the last things you want given to the poor. It’s a fact that poor people are more likely to have STD’s. If a bunch of poor dudes (and women, we don’t discriminate) are sharing this thing. There’s gonna be some issues. Just saying.

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