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Jacksonville Elementary School Has Banned Toilet Paper in Their Bathrooms

Take a look at this article from the New York Daily News.

A Florida elementary school faced backlash after reports that it had refused to put toilet paper in restroom stalls. Carter G. Woodson Elementary School in Jacksonville removed the rolls and instead opted to have teachers hand out “wads of toilet paper,” Action News Jax first reported. One concerned mother, Shantia Peterson, said she was worried about sanitation with toilet paper being passed “hand to hand” from teacher to student. Peterson began sending her 4th-grade daughter to school with a roll of toilet paper in a Ziploc bag before eventually transferring her to another school, she told Action News Jax. “I told her, I said, ‘Your new school, they’re going to have toilet paper in the bathrooms.’ My daughter got excited. She said, ‘What, are you serious? They’re going to have toilet paper in the bathroom?’” Peterson said.

People are right to be mad but it appears they’re mad for the wrong reasons. Shantia is worried about the toilet paper being passed “hand to hand” from teacher to student? That’s not even close to the biggest thing wrong with refusing to put toilet paper in the bathrooms. The biggest thing wrong with refusing to put toilet paper in the bathrooms is purely situational. No way in hell this teacher gives out enough toilet paper. How will the teacher know what kind of dump is about to take place? That knowledge is known only by the dumper. What happens when a kid has to go take the Browns to the Super Bowl and he or she knows it’s gonna be a big one? The type of poop that gurgles in your stomach like a dormant-but-soon-to-be-very-active volcano and you know the toilet is about to be WRECKT.

Elementary school kids will bully for wayyyyyyyyyyyyyy less. Imagine that you have a kid who just dropped the fecal equivalent to Hiroshima, they don’t have enough TP and now they’re walking around with a skid mark in their undies. That kid will be living in hell. Not letting people decide how much TP they’re gonna use in the privacy of their own stall will lead to a ton of problems.

LET THE KIDS WIPE!!!

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