You are here
Home > News > Satire > Breaking: Juniors in Hallway Moving Slightly

Breaking: Juniors in Hallway Moving Slightly


On Monday morning the Juniors who stand next to the art hallway during passing time announced they’d be moving one inch to the right to provide a better flow of traffic.

“We all noticed that people had a hard time passing through the hallway on their way to their next class. We asked ourselves ‘why?’ and realized we were the problem. So we decided to shift ourselves one inch to the right starting next Friday,” said Jonah Smith, Junior.

Yes you read that right, next Friday the Juniors will be moving.

Many people are relieved to hear of the Juniors change in location.

“I’m super excited for their move. One inch means that I can finally fit my entire backpack through the small space they give people to walk through,” said Mary McHale, Senior.

Not only will this one inch of space allow for better flow of traffic, it will also mean that the Juniors who stand next to the art hallway will be closer together.

“I really think this change will really help all of us get to know each other better. There’s direct correlation between the distance between people and friendship,” said Smith.

Some people have other reasons to be happy that the Juniors be standing closer together.

“I think that as they become better friends by standing closer together, they’ll become less intimidating. As of right now I avoid that area as much as possible because I’m kinda’ scared of how many of them there are, maybe the move will change that” said Macey Runnin, Freshman.

Many students are hoping that this dramatic move will change the way that they walk through the halls.

“I’m just excited that I’ll be able to get through that area without coming out looking like I got hit by a train,” said Joycelynn Gerbless, Senior.