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The “Jist”

The novels required by the Park Hill School District as assignments for Language classes can be.. well let’s be honest, no one wants to read them.

Huck Finn: So, it starts out with an attack on the A-Rabs. And then theres some racism. And then Romeo and Juliet make their way into the plot. Huck and Jim  pick up a hitchhicker king and dolphin… I mean dauphin, who don’t have royalty in their blood at all. Old time gold diggers, the kind and dauphin scam their way into trouble for the group. In a strange clash of coincidence Huck meets his bestie’s (Tom) aunt who mistakes him for Tom. When Tom makes a visit down South, the boys decide to save Jim who was sold by the king and dauphin. his adventure takes over and dragons and knights and aliens all come into play. At least.. I think that’s how it goes. Don’t hold me to it though..

The Odyssey: So Odysseus was just trying to get home from Troy after a super long battle. But on what was supposed to be a rejuvinating trip, he has to get through some crazy battles. He pokes out a cyclopse’s eye, gets druged by hippies who don’t want him to go away, and has a saucy affair. After all of this he finally gets back only to have to prove that he is himself (age really takes a toll on the looks). Apparently stringing a bow is really tough and then kills this guy that trys to get with his wife.

I mean really, this makes more sense than the jargon in these nonsense books. I’d trust it.. 😉